Is Changing Your Career Really What You Want?
Recently I’ve been attending very specific coaching training. Naturally, part of the training was to practice our coaching skills. It was quite fascinating to watch, how each and every participant chose their career/business development as the main topic to be coached on.
So there we were, plodding along with the career and business goals for a couple of sessions until such time when the “surface reality” was gone and we started getting deeper information. And boy, what we discovered was quite fascinating.
Low-and-behold, underneath all those grand business plans were plain and simple human needs, successfully and, may I say, masterfully covered up by the years of practice.
Overall, there was a big cry for recognition, validation, self-worth and love.
There were people who were lonely and instead of addressing that need they threw themselves into a gigantic career transformation. There were people who didn´t feel appreciated by anybody, so the thought of a higher and more important position seemed like the right remedy.
Basically, the change and advancement in their career was supposed to provide an instant plaster to their emotional needs.
The trouble with this approach is that once you get that further promotion and once you achieve your company´s financial goals, there comes the time when those emotional needs re-appear. You didn´t deal with them; you merely kept yourselves busy, hoping they would vanish by themselves.
If you are in the midst of changing your career or considering starting your own business, do yourself a favor called “due diligence”.
Open your heart and ask yourself what the real reasons for this new direction are. Will this new career be in-line with your values? Will it truly reflect who you are? Are there any issues from the past that you need to deal with first, before you commit to the whole process?
The answer to all of these questions is full and total self-acceptance. When you are ready to accept and embrace yourself for who you are, including all your imperfections (you should know by now that we are all full of them!), the following will happen.
- You will be able to see your priorities more clearly and maybe, just maybe, it will turn out a new career is not one of them!
- If, as a result of your newly found emotional freedom, you still believe that changes in career are necessary, approach them with this new perspective. I can promise you that half of the requirements you were after will be gone!
- If your choices are in-line with your true personal values (and you will make sure they are), your next steps will become much easier to define and take.
Most importantly, enjoy the process. It might not be the easiest one but it is highly rewarding in the end.
Thank you, Chris, for your comment. I think it is really important that people go beyond the obvious and search deeper when making big life decisions, should it be in their career or in other areas of their lives. All the best, Natalie
You a so right. People often jump into major life changes thinking that the outcome will lead to a perfect life. Sadly these choices are often misguided. Unless change is forced on you, then there’s always a fundamental reason behind it. Identifying what the reason is and planning around can not only help you make the right decision, but like you said can sometimes avoid these major changes completely. Most people who jump from job to job or even relationship to relationship are searching for something without really knowing what the something is. It's never as simple as "more money" or "better recognition". Often, it's all about who you are and what you want on a much deeper level. Great post!
add comment
How to Deal With Disappointment When Changing Your Career
Changing your career needs to be treated as any other big change that you undergo in your life. You will most probably go through the following motions: questioning the decisions you make along the way, feeling the loss of leaving something familiar behind you, facing the uncertainties of embarking on the unknown. There will be fear and there will be excitement. There will be expectations and there will be disappointments. Most probably, the whole process will be a bit bumpy and might leave you exhausted.
However, it doesn´t have to be this way; what you need to understand is that sometimes we can´t change the process but we can certainly change our reaction to it!
When things don´t go smoothly and the disappointment and fatigue set in, there are a few steps you can take:
1.) Make a decision that no matter how much progress you are making, you will enjoy the process and you will consider any setback as just another “building block” on the way towards your final goal of having your ideal career. Never underestimate the power of a decision. Thinking about something, considering it, visualizing it, discussing it, these are all fine activities. Making a decision is much more powerful, though. It implies that there is no looking back, only forward. It signals to you that you are in charge and you will move ahead on your own terms. Taking the decision means that whatever happens, you will have your ideal career and you will enjoy the process, you are moving ahead of those who wallow in their sorrows and get stuck half-way through the process without knowing it. You might take a few wrong turns but at least you are moving and that puts you way ahead of the crowd.
2.) Remain open-minded about how you will get the career of your dreams. Quite often, we make the mistake of having a very precise idea about how things will develop. Then if something doesn´t go according to plan we are left disheartened and disappointed. Imagine though, if there were tons of different ways to land your ideal career, if you only allowed them to unfold naturally! Please don´t misunderstand me. Taking action every single day and moving in the direction of your new career is extremely important. Which actions to take, however, can be left to your imagination and the immediate feelings of what is best for you. Sometimes you can be struck by an idea that seems completely farfetched and yet when you follow up on it, it might lead to an interesting contact, valuable information or a new avenue to pursue. Don´t underestimate the power of your intuition. If a new and crazy idea strikes, try it out, you never know the surprising outcome.
3.) Allow yourself enough time. Quite often, people who are determined and work towards change in their career steadily, make the easiest transitions. The reason being that once they reach the point of readiness to take the plunge, they have fully prepared and implemented plan B. They know exactly what they are doing, they have a financial plan, potentially a business plan (if transitioning to their own business), they have clarity and they have an action plan. To put all these elements in place can take time. Having a time frame is important but if you allow yourself to be patient, potential disappointments will not seem as fatal as if your deadline was set in stone for you.
Most importantly, remember why you decided to change your career in the first place. I am guessing it was because you wanted to spend your time doing something that you truly loved! Keep your eyes on the prize and all your disappointments will become but little stories to share at dinner parties and lovely reminders of how much you have overcome and how far you have travelled.
add comment