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What Determines Your Level of Self-Esteem?

November 16th, 2010

Each of us has a certain image of ourselves that we would like to achieve. It is the way we want to look, the things we want to have, the way we want to live and behave. We can call it our “ideal-self”. This state is what we refer to when we dream about a type of person we would like to become. Often this refers to our idols that we hold in high respect and would like to emulate.

Then there is the reality and how we really see ourselves, our “self-image”. Usually, our self-image is a far cry from our ideal-self. When we talk about our self-image we see that person who really doesn´t impress us, whether this is with regard to looks, behavior or level of success.

The difference between your ideal-self, (that is the way you would like to be or act) and your actual self-image (that is the way you actually view yourself at the moment) determines the level of your self-esteem. Needless to say, the bigger the difference between these two levels, the lower your self-esteem.

How to close the gap? There is only one word for it: like. Start liking yourself more. To start liking yourself more, some work needs to be done. Start by comparing your ideal-image and your actual self-image and pick the areas in which you know you can develop. Decide sincerely and with not too much criticism: which part of your personality would you like to change to get closer to your ideal-self? Would you like to be a more kind type of person? Decide to put forward at least one act of kindness every day. Practice the same if you would like to be braver, more cheerful or decisive. Start liking yourself for every attempt you make and keep going.

The truth is, if you hold a certain ideal of yourself in your mind, you already have all the tools you need to become that person (even though you might not know it). Now you only need to find them and use them. Your growing self-esteem will be your reward for all your hard work.

©2010 LB Life Coaching

  • Alexandre

    how to improve yurlseof: for this, be brutally honest about your good points, your weak points, and areas you want to change. to effect the change you may need help from a therapist, a counsellor, a teacher etc. don’t feel awkward about asking for help. half the battle is acknowledging what needs changing believe me, everyone needs to change something about their being.and self growth refers to the way in which you become more complex by opening yurlseof up to new ideas, new places, new people who have something to offer.